CHAPTER 18 Don't worry. It's only a dream!   As soon as I drifted off to sleep, Bo was waiting for me under an apple tree that overlooked a valley of green. "Well, what did they think?" he laughed, knowingly. "Nobody paid any attention," I moaned, plopping down beside him. "Eh, so what. You didn't really do it for anyone, except yourself. You finally got it off your chest, right?" "Yeah, but I didn't really prove anything, Bo. Not really." "Did you really think you could? "No. I guess not." "Besides, Jack, don't be so hard on yourself. You explored almost every possibility. You must have finally satisfied that longing inside." "Hmm. I suppose. But the possible Answers don't seem too appealing, somehow. I mean, the best-case scenario is that there is this ultimate consciousness out there, that we're all a part of, and it experiences Life through us." "So? Jack, that's exactly the conclusion that the Hindus came up with 5000 years ago, and the one that many today are discovering anew. But what about the no-god possibility? You live your life to the fullest as best you can and when it's over it's over..." "I don't know, Bo. Neither possibility really turns me on." "Why not?" "Well...I guess I was just kind of hoping there was this kind, misunderstood God out there, who'd wave his hand and make all the wrongs right, and everyone would be happy and...I don't know, I'm just kind of disappointed." An apple fell from the tree and I ducked reflexively. "You know," I sighed. "I almost wish I'd never even tried to share my crazy thoughts with anybody!" Bo grabbed my shoulders and shook me. "Look, Jack, don't say that! This whole thing has been a dream, and you've got to wake up and write it all down. So get a grip on yourself!" "It was all a dream? The miniseries? Our crazy adventures? It didn't happen?" "Of course not! You didn't think they were going to try and pass this book off as nonfiction did you. An anthropological study of a philosophic odyssey, like some other authors claimed?" "No, I guess not. But it seemed so real..." Then my eyes lit up. I'd been given a second chance. "Bo, I'm not going to write it!" "You've got to!" he screamed, and he stood up over me. I looked up, but the sun was behind him, and I couldn't see his face. "But, Bo, it's going to get a lot of people upset. You said it yourself before!" "Jack, you've got to write it all down. It's the only way you can set it free. It's the only way you'll set yourself free. And besides, you owe it to Humanity." "But what for. Why should they question what they believe. Let them keep their heads in the sand. They'll be happier." "But Jack, you don't understand. There are other people out there searching for the Truth. The need to know burns in them like it burned in you. You've got the Truth, and it can set them free..." "I do?" "Yes." "And just what is the Truth, oh great Bodisatva?" "Just that it's all a Joke." "Now, hold on there. I never wanted to hurt anyone with all these crazy thoughts, but it's not a joke to me, Bo! These questions mean a lot to me..." "I didn't mean what you said is a joke. I meant, life is a joke!" "Huh?" "Lighten up, Jack. You take everything much too seriously. The Truth is just that we can never know the Truth. So stop wasting your life searching for Answers, and just LIVE! You've got to learn to enjoy the dream while it lasts." I sighed. "What, you want me to walk on the wild side. Live fast and die young. Is that what 'living' is all about?" "No, of course not! Life is to be treasured. What I mean is learn how to LIVE. You walk through your life blinded by the past, with your eyes on a future that's always just beyond your reach. You have to learn to treasure every moment. Experience it while it's happening, not sit around after it's over wishing you had it back because you never appreciated it while you had it." "Uh, huh. You're saying the secret to life is that age old saying, 'Seize the moment.' And of course, let's not forget, 'life isn't worthwhile unless you have someone to share it all with'..." "Exactly. Now you're talking." "Look, that's the conclusion I came to before, and you pooh-poohed it!" "I was just playing devil's advocate. You were right, of course. And your idea about humanity's goal to evolve consciousness to help make this world what it COULD be, isn't so bad, either." "Oh," I sighed, a little overwhelmed at first. But I couldn't help just chuckling to myself as all those important questions seemed to fade away. "So, this is all just a dream, huh?" I sighed, leaning back in the green, green grass. "Yep." "Am I married to someone named Jill? I mean, in my real life." "Well, you're actually divorced. And your ex-wife's name isn't Jill. You're going to meet someone great real soon, but her name won't be Jill either. But then again, your name isn't Jack. It's all fiction, I tell you. You're not real, Jack. You're an imaginary character. Jack and Jill -- don't you get it?" "Huh?" I must admit, I was kind of disappointed to find out that I didn't exist. But then again, maybe I did. It wouldn't be the first time that Bo was wrong. Still, Bo was right about one thing: what does it matter? I never will know the Truth, so maybe I can just stop searching and LIVE, even if it is all just a dream. Bo was tugging at my sleeve. He was pointing at those butterfly women. "Come on, they're calling us." "But...what's going to happen. I'm all confused, now. Am I going to float up to consciousness and awake where the real me will be with Jill, or new-Jill or whatever her name really is, or am I going to disappear into the reservoir of imagination and join Eve in an Eternal moment of Bliss... or are we just going to fade into the horizon chasing these elusive visions of beauty..." "Who knows, Jack. Who cares. It's only a dream." I sighed, and then we flew off after them into the sunset. The End. Table of Contents | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter